So I spent New Year’s Eve curled up in the fetal position with Milo and a hot water bottle after coming down with some food poisoning of sorts TWO SIPS after I popped the cork of a bottle of bubb, which was a gift from my friend R-Ho on my b-day. NOT FAIR. I hate wasting alcohol! Also felt like I was going to die for about 30mins, and worried who was going to take me to St. Joe’s when all the cabs would be booked for NYE. Lesson: try not to be covered in paint when posed with potentially having to ask your neighbours for a ride to the hospital. Yes, I was also in midst of a NYE paint job last night, which had to be put on hold. Which was probably for the best since the recycled paint I purchased at the Salvation Army in Milton (in attempt to curtail expenses, and stop myself from indecision over too many colour options) resulted in the auspicious “Grey” looking more like it should have been titled “Prison Cement Wall Grey” instead. Not the serene atmosphere I was going for in my boudoir. My friend M suggested we get some decorative sponges to pretty it up, which may work, but since I’m technically not supposed to be painting my apartment, it’d be quite hard to pretend the decorative sponge marks were made by the slobby boy who lived here prior.
Hmm. I hope my landlady doesn’t read my blog.*
So, yeah, here I am sat on the couch I slept on (it’s closer to the bathroom), with tea-n-toast and a dozing Milo, watching some cooking show on the W Network. They are cooking snausages. Which reminds me why I am blogging right now – because I wanted to share my NEW YEAR’S RESOLUTIONS! Bum, bum, bum! (That was a suspenseful drumroll, FYI.)
I love resolutions. Probably mainly because I love making lists (one of my consistent hobbies), but also because I am a Scorpio and we are all about rebirth. Making resolutions allows you to start over. I also like deadlines and dates of importance. And constraint. I always say I am like water (Scorpio is water sign afterall), and without a mold I will just pour all over the place. But with some structure, I will take shape. I also love a challenge, and it’s been a while since I tested my willpower to resist something that I indulge in. This usually means food for me, but sometimes bad behaviours like “All talk no action” or “I can’t do that until I do this first.”
And on that note, less yap more tap. Er, I mean, less tap more list!
MY 2011 RESOLUTIONS:
1. No pork! I will not eat any pork products in 2011. This is gonna be rough. No snausage, beans ‘n’ chips. No pork tenderloin with hoisin sauce. No peameal bacon and poached eggs. No BBQ spare ribs. No porkchops (I don’t really eat that many porkchops, but “porkchop” is one of my favourite words). No bacon sandwiches. (I have two magnets on my fridge of U.K. signs that say BACON STREET and SANDWICH STREET… oh and a comic that says “Sure there’s the vegetarian side of me, but then there’s the side of bacon side.”) Oh god, NO PULLED PORK SANDWICH AT BEERFEST!!! (Maybe will revist this resolution in August…) The reason why I am cutting out pork is because I don’t like eating factory-farmed meats, especially mass-produced ones. I’ve already stopped eating beef (since 2004) and chicken makes my stomach hurt (I think it’s the hormones), so that just leaves pork in the trifecta of common beasts. Luckily we don’t eat lamb that much over here in Ontario, so as long as I don’t buy New Zealand lamb, it should be all good. I also try not to buy meat from the grocery store as it grosses me out (other than the occasional English banger). Meat should be purchased at a butcher’s shop! Period. And so, I bid you adieu mon petit cochon d’amour.
2. Speak French. This is going to be frustrating. I honestly think I have a blockage in the second language speaking department of my brain. I can learn the grammar rules easily enough, and the writing when relevant (I could write the Arabic alphabet after only a few lessons), but I just can’t get my mouth around the vocab. I have a Bilingual Honours Bachelor of Arts degree, but I don’t know the French word for “carpet” or “toast.” I can conjugate any verb in any tense, including passe simple, which no one ever uses outside of proper literature. I guess that’s the difference between Core French and French Immersion. My friends in highschool who were in Immersion could have conversations in French, but their language skills sucked. Maybe this is also because I know English grammar a lot better than the average bear, so it’s only naturellement that I would easily pick up French grammar rules. I am sure there’s a hidden part of my brain that does know French, I just need to whack down that blockage – because if someone speaks it to me, I can understand the gist of what they’re saying, but I respond in English. When I lived in Sweden I discovered that the Swedes and Norwegians speak to each other like this – both in their own language yet understanding each other perfectly. So, by end of year I resolve to speak French. LET’S DO THIS! Allez-y!
3. Finish & sell at least one piece of writing. I have two that I’m working on: a very short children’s poetry book about England, and a chick lit novel of 500 pages. I wonder which one I will finish?? I also have a big issue with what I publish first, because everyone always judges you forever on how they first know you. If someone meets you when you have had to take a receptionist job because you quit your closed captioning gig due to endless pornographic content (for example), they only ever see you as a receptionist. And since my writing training and forte is poetry, I don’t want to publish a chick lit novel and then put out a poetry book, only to have the reviewers say “Chick lit novellist writes poetry book!” Because chances are, they will read the poetry in a non-flattering light. Because as much as we all love chick lit, no one considers the authors to be literary experts. (Read “The Devil Wears Prada” or anything by Candace Bushnell for confirmation.) My friend ME says I shouldn’t care about the order I publish in, because I am a multi-faceted writer and should just be myself. Afterall, I can debate theoretical astrophysics and the philosophy of time in the same conversation as why it is wrong to wear open-toed, barefooted, sandals before May 1st. SHUDDER. My mantra on that: “Until the grass is green, thy toes shall not be seen!” Oh, and the universe has a destiny. See article in Discover Magazine (April 2010) for more info. But I digress. The point is, I plan to sell at least one piece of writing, and a large part of me thinks it should be the poetry first.
4. Complete the whole 90-minute Bikram yoga circuit without passing out or taking a savasana “break.” Considering I’ve been going to Bikram yoga classes on and off for about eight years (and yoga in general for 16 years), you’d think I could do this by now. But I am really unflexible. REALLY. Am considering doing an Energy Exchange at a hot yoga studio to force myself to get back into daily practice. Actually, speaking of this…
5. Do an Energy Exchange for three months at a hot yoga studio. Methinks I will probably apply to Moksha Yoga Bloor West. Moksha was the first hot yoga I ever did – well, back then they were just another Bikram studio on the Danforth – but then they changed that studio and their other one at Davisville to Moksha, and now there’s Mokshas all over the place. Even in Milton! (This is shocking because when I started practicing yoga 16 years ago in Milton, I was about 50 years younger than every single person in the class. It was not trendy back then with the young’uns. I miss those days. HATE trendy yogis!!! It’s about the peace of mind people, not the Lululemon outfit! Although my neighbour DOES work at a Lululemon… I wonder if he can get me a discount on some cute capris?)
6. Jog (without stopping to catch breath) the entire road that encircles High Park. Not sure how long this is. Will ask the Running Room nerds, they’ll probably know. This is going to be tough because I am the world’s worst jogger. I “ran” a 10k in England in 2009 with my friend S, her husband D, and her brother D. At first I was doing awesome – passing people left and right. Man that felt good. But I lost it on the downhill part. Just can’t run down a hill! Also this 10k was up and down the Chiltern Hills where I lived as a child, and in the woods for most of it, where you have to avoid ancient tree roots and pieces of flint, sheep, and all sorts of other woodland creatures (such as drunk Englishmen). Not like the ones you can run along the Waterfront in Toronto, all peaceful and flat. Nooooo! Not. Like. That. I couldn’t bend my knees for a week afterwards. I even was turned down for a job at a museum in London because the guy who interviewed me thought I was handicapped. When I said I couldn’t walk properly because I’d just done a charity run, he asked how long it was and I said 10k, and he CLEARLY did not believe me. Then to make matters worse, since I’m a livin’ joke, I couldn’t manage to get my Visitor Badge off that was pinned to my coat, and had to ask for his help. This did not benefit my handicapable stance. Is there no such thing as equality these days!? Do they not have Affirmative Action in the U.K.!? Humpf.
7. Travel to at least two countries. Considering I went to four in 2009 (Spain, Gibraltar, Britain – England & Wales, and Ireland), and then none in 2010, I need to make up for lost time. Am planning a trip to Scotland with ME in the Autumn for a whisky, gin, and beer tour. I mean, a Cultural Tour. Yahhh. Liquid culture! Woo! Also going to New York City for a weekend mini-break with friend J. Funny, this also revolves around liquid culture. Hmm. Themed travel is good, non? Speaking of liquid culture…
8. LAUNCH THE BEAVE! Yes, thirstybeaver.ca will be launching in 2011. Am so excited about this. We’re only a year behind schedule LOL but it’s been hard to work on it when J and I both have other jobs (working for myself IS a job people!). But our logo is THIS CLOSE to being finalized, and the legwork is starting this month. Whodathunk I’d actually be excited to do legwork? (This has nothing to do with #6, although maybe it would help keep me going!)
9. Teach “The Artist’s Way” workshop at least once. I keep trying to teach this and it doesn’t work out for one reason or another. But it’s such an amazing course of creative rediscovery. Julia Cameron is the closest thing to a god I have, I preach her work to anyone who will listen, and so I figured I might as well organize an actual workshop. Although I have lost out on my first choice for venue. We’ll see. I’d rather do it in the Winter/Spring than the Summer because this year I also plan to…
10. Portage in Algonquin Park. I guess #6 would help this one as well. I have portaged in Brent and Achray, and the only peripheral site left is Kiosk. I have only camped at the peripheral sites. So that’s my goal for Summer 2011. One day I hope to portage from Achray to Kiosk by myself, but not sure I am ready for that yet! There’s no way I could lift the canoe on my own. Although in 2005 when S and I were portaging in the Barron Canyon and a series of massive thunderous storms closed in on us (and we were the only people in the entire Canyon at the time), some sort of inner strength took over and we lifted the canoe full of our backpacks and firewood and food straight out of the water up onto a rocky shore about a metre above the water with only one hand each. Still don’t know where that strength came from, other than from fear! (Lightning had just struck a 60′ tree and about 20′ of its top came crashing down beside us!) And, yes, I still want to go back. Loved that campsite.
Well, that’s about it. I think the tea-n-toast has helped ease my stomach since I started this blog (about three hours ago). Am beginning to feel better. Fog is descending outside. Lindsay Lohan is on TV in “The Parent Trap” – funny how different she is now. Hmm. Maybe I should change the channel. Or go finish painting. Or maybe I’ll just have another cuppa. Afterall, “Less talk more action” was last year’s resolution!
HAPPY NEW YEAR!
BONNE ANNEE!
Och lyckligt nytt år! …that one’s Swedish ;o)
x
*All events described in this blog are fictious. Any resemblance to real persons or events is purely coincidental. Except for the juicy bits. Those are 100% accurate.